4 Ways to Overcome the Mom Struggle

Why do mom’s put so much pressure on themselves? Who are we trying to impress? Our kids? The in-laws? Instagram?

We all have a picture of what motherhood should look like. We have ideals that we carry from childhood, or we have formed our own ideals from watching other moms and wishing we could be more like them.

There is something to be said about following good examples and allowing mom’s that have gone before us to love us and give us advice. However, we are the perfect mother that was hand-picked by God for our particular child. One mold of motherhood may work for one mom, but not the other.

We may also form our ideals of motherhood by what we read, the advice parenting books give us or what our mothers and grandmothers have told us. It is the same. We are a unique family, and we can’t always fit the mold created by others. 

So how do we create a mold of motherhood that works for our family?

1- Get to the Source

What does the bible say about motherhood? What are the fundamentals that we should adhere to that are given to us by the one who created motherhood?

We read in Genesis that God created the first mother when Eve gave birth to Cain. Thus, creating the first family. This wasn’t a mistake; God knew that mothers would play a vital role in the family dynamic. He also knew that it would be one of the hardest and most challenging positions for a woman. But He doesn’t leave us hanging in our own struggle, He guides us and expresses to us the joy that motherhood is meant to bring, even in the hard days.

In the Bible we read beautiful passages of scripture relating to motherhood:

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. 

Psalm 127:3

Children can feel burdensome at times but when we focus on the blessing the truly are, our heart begins to shift, even if just in that moment. 

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

Motherhood is filled with hope in that when we pour Godly virtues into our children, they are more likely to make the right choices when they are older. 

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. 

Proverbs 31:28

Motherhood is an honor and the highest calling, and we should treat it as such.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

Psalm 139:13

Motherhood is ordained by God, and He created your children exactly for you. There is so much purpose in that. 

May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful

Proverbs 23:25

 God created motherhood knowing full well the joy that we would receive as their mothers. It is truly a gift.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13 

God is not blind to the mom struggle we face every day. That is why He promises to give us strength in all the struggle and all the hard.

2- Stop Comparing 

Stop scrolling through your phone looking at picture perfect, filtered images of mothers and the life that they want to portray. Spend some time praying and asking God to give you the image of motherhood that He wants you to focus on. He is the ultimate one to follow. 

Unfortunately, with the advantages of advanced technology comes the ability to peek into the lives of countless other moms. We forget that they are choosing what to post and altering it to make it look a certain way. We need to normalize messy houses and not Pinterest perfect homes. We need to normalize mom struggles and not make it so taboo. We need to cheer each other on when we chose playing with our children over cleaning the house.

I had an older mother tell me once, “your kids won’t remember your dirty floor, they will only remember that you got on that floor and played with them.” This has stuck with me through almost 16 years of motherhood. Not that I don’t clean my floors but if I have a choice to clean or play, I always have the nudge to put down the broom and play as HARD as that is. It is well worth it. However, if you have to choose cleaning the floor some days, its ok. Give yourself grace and don’t let guilt settle in.

3- Stop Putting Unrealistic Expectations on Yourself

Who are we trying to please? What standards are we holding ourselves up to and why?

I challenge you to make a list off all the ideals that you have in motherhood. Go down the list and perhaps give yourself an alternative for that item and give yourself a certain time frame that you are going to give yourself to let that one go. 

I’ll go first:

I find it super important to feed my family in a healthy way. I know other moms who feel the same way. They are setting a very high standard for health and fresh food, but at what cost?

Instead of stressing out over meals and trying to make everything from scratch or trying to make sure everything 100% nutritional I am going to give myself a break. 

Thankfully there are many healthy, easy options at the grocery store or local warehouse. I am going to purchase these items and have them in my freezer and pantry ready and waiting for those days that are the most challenging. I am going to give myself an out for that day. I am going to make it easy and not feel guilty. 

I am going to enjoy the reprieve from not having to cook and I am going to even eat on paper plates even thought I can’t stand the thought of the waste. 

Now your turn! 

What can you give yourself a break on?

Perhaps it’s budgeting to order grocery delivery rather than shopping. 

Maybe it’s letting the mopping go for two weeks instead of one. 

It could be letting your kids watch a little more TV this week. 

The list is endless.

So, moms I challenge you to pick apart what is truly important in your daily life. What standards are you only holding up to for yourself and what can you let go, if only for a season?

4- Give It to the Lord

He knows your mom struggles intimately. He knows what you have placed upon your own shoulders that you don’t need to carry. Allow Him the space to speak to your heart and to give you the strength to let some things go. You don’t need to tell anyone; you don’t need to post about it and most likely your children may not even notice. 

 Wake up early and spend some time reading your bible or digging into an online devotional for moms. Filling your heart and mind with the truth of God’s word can only make things better.

Give yourself grace mama. This hard but start to recognize where you make it even harder. 

YOU GOT THIS, MAMA!